Emotional Drainage

Growing up, I realised what I was, when I could feel what people felt when they tell me about themselves or their pain. - I was an empath.

I grew up listening to stories of pain, of love, of happiness and sadness. I was able to categorize and set aside their feelings after giving them advices. I was their listening ear, the one that has always been there for them. I was the one that they relied on for unbiased opinions and consequences.

But then the day came, when it was my issues. My problems, my pain and confusion.

I was lost, and bewildered by the very mind I call my own. The thought process which I knew all too well was now a stranger. It was so distant and inconcludable. It was like I never knew who it was. - When I needed answers the most.

People said to never bring your work home, and I knew just how to do it. I was strong, I was so so capable. But you, brought me down. You, the very thoughts that I knew too well. - Why did you allow work to set you back? Why did you allow feelings and emotions to get to your head? Why did you allow yourself, your very heart, to be so fragile and vulnerable? Why did you allow yourself to become the person you wanted to distant away from?

Or rather, why are you running away. Running away from who you are inside, putting on a facade. Why are you pretending to be strong and happy when deep down inside, you aren't? Why are you putting yourself through this pretense?

Why aren't you embracing your pain, your scars and your trauma? Why aren't you facing your very own self? Why aren't you letting yourself heal and be the best version of yourself? Why, dear girl, why? Why do you constantly smile when you're upset? Why do you laugh at the slightest things that people say? Why are you always being the cheery ball of energy in the midst of them all? Why?

No one will be there to save you from drowning in your own thoughts. Nobody would ever love you the way you love yourself. Face your fears, face your past, face your pain and hurt, face your trauma and your scars. Embrace your inner child, your inner self, your inner goddess. Embrace and accept yourself, and not let anyone ever put you down.

Because if you don't, you'll just be the person that drains out eventually. With no one by your side.